The Ride

“Life is like a rollercoaster.” 

Sure. I can get on board with that statement. I’ve said that. And I think it’s fair to say that we have all lived through many ups and downs in life, which I have interpreted that saying to mean.

But here’s what I struggle with in regards to that saying: 

I actually like rollercoasters. 

I would have to say that being diagnosed with cancer changed my outlook on it. I needed something a little more frightening to describe that piece of my journey. Something unpredictable. Something that felt “shaking” or “startling” to me.

I now add the caveat at the end saying, 

“But sometimes life feels like a carnival ride.”

Nicole leaning up against a gate with her in focus smiling and Ferris wheel in the background

You can understand my fear of carnival rides, yes?

  • The ride was assembled the night before and I’m just not sure if all the nuts and bolts have been tightened all the way. 
  • The colors of the seat and ride that were at one time a bright color {I assume} are now a shade of gray, rusted metal.
  • Between the uncertainty of the stability of the ride and the ground that is far below, my lack of wearing a helmet has me uneasy to my core.
  • Not only am I going up and down but spinning left and right, around and around and around, and I really can’t tell what is up from down {due to dizziness and my eyes being closed tightly}.
  • Or how when I think the ride is over and the riders cheer “Again! Again!” Then the next thing I realize, the ride facilitator gives everyone a thumbs up and off we go again into chaos.

Nauseated, terrified, uncertain, and no end near in sight.

Sometimes life can feel just like a carnival ride.

I think it’s really easy for that saying to become a “theology” that sneaks into our minds about God’s plan for our lives, too: That God just threw our “tomorrow’s plans” together last minute the night before and that it is very possible that there could be some essential pieces missing! All we want to do is get our feet back on the ground and we feel like God forgot about us as we toss and turn on the ride.

Even though our circumstances may feel like a crazy carnival ride, our lives are very much in control by a God Who loves us and has a plan for our lives.

When I received my cancer diagnosis a year ago, my world stopped completely for a moment and then launched into chaos {much like the slingshot ride at the carnival}.

But when it felt terrifying and out of control to me, it didn’t feel like that to God. He was steadfast, calm, and working through every moment of it with me and walking alongside me {and still is today}.

God is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End! Nothing, and I mean nothing, we face is too big, complex, or crazy for Him. He is not surprised by any of it and truly is with us through all of it. He is in the business of peace, healing, love, and restoration.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:38-39

So through the unpredictability of what lies ahead that we cannot see, God is leading and lighting the way for us. We can trust him with everything and anything we are facing.

So whether you find yourself on the highs or lows of a rollercoaster or in the midst of a carnival ride, know that you are loved and not alone. The foundation of God is strong and stable even when our circumstances don’t feel that way.

My prayer is that we find peace in our mighty, awesome, and strong God who saves us through the darkest night, toughest fight, and craziest ride.

Nicole laughing in front of a rainbow sign at the carnival

God bless y’all!

Sparkle on,
Nicole Body

Feeling like your life is spinning out of control? Need prayer or a listening ear? Please send me a message and I would love to help in any way that I can.

{A huge thank you to Jenna Carara for taking and editing photos for me!}

10 comments

  1. I am so thankful that I found you online. It is a true blessing to be able to read such positivity. Through the ups and downs of getting diagnosed with cancer I try to be drama free. Although some of the support sites tend to drag you down when you read what is going on with others, you have to stop and remember you aren’t the same. Everybody goes through different emotions and processes things different for sure. I had to stop myself several times and remember how far I have come. Did cancer take me the day I found out? No, of course not I am still here today and thank God every day. May God continue to bless you and help you inspire others as you have me. God bless!

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    • Thank you for your kind words and for reading!! It means so much to me!! What an amazing testimony you have! What glory to God!! So thankful that our paths have crossed! Keep being amazing and shining your bright, beautiful light!

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  2. Your a true inspiring woman, I am so happy I read your blog. I am a 24 year cancer survivor, but I struggle everyday because of what the cancer did to my appearance, I had Ewing’s sarcoma of my left mandible. I have had over 40 surgeries but still can’t find happiness with myself. My family misses out on so much as so do I. I would love to hear from you. Blessings to you

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    • Brad, thank you for being so brave and vulnerable in sharing your story with me. I think you are AMAZING for having underwent so many surgeries to be alive. My hope for you today is that you feel the value and significance of your life and that God has a huge purpose for you still! When I have felt insecure about my appearances I find myself hiding behind thing(s). But the truth is that takes so much energy and is exhausting and not a life of thriving, just that of getting by. And I want you to experience the abundant life that Jesus offers in John 10:10! Your family loves you for you and God loves you for you! You just have to believe that you are lovable and love yourself. You are in my prayers tonight. And know that you are amazing! Thank you for reaching out.

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  3. Praying your blog continues to reach many who are experiencing that out-of-control feeling so they can be pointed to the steadfast faithfulness of our mighty God. You represent him so well. I am so proud of you, Nicole. The light within you is simply undeniable! Sparkle on!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I found your post on the MD Anderson Facebook page. You are very inspiring and encouraging. I too am a stage 4 metastatic melanoma survivor. No cancer history in my family. Just had a lump in my left clavicle for about 8 months and it wasn’t doing anything. Just thought it was a fatty tissue. Then it started growing and within a week of surgery we discovered it was cancer.
    My doctors told me to go to MD Anderson. I was diagnosed on the 10th of April 2017 and at MD on the 20th of April.
    PET Scans, MRI and lots of blood and no cancer could be found in my body. But on May 22nd my doctor took out 50 lymph nodes and tissue just to be sure and still no cancer.
    I started on a clinical trial of immunotherapy just to be safe. Had 4 treatments and no side effects. That was in October 2017. But come November the side effects hit hard and heavy and I was in the hospital nearlybthe entire month of December. Lost a lot of weight, battled Colitis, fatigue, hair loss too.
    I guess the reason I’m saying all of this is because what spoke to me the most is that cancer brought you back to the Lord. I know that is why I got it. I have been a follower of Christ for 20 plus years but these last several I had been floundering.
    Praying and knowing I wasn’t walking with God the way He wanted me too, he got my attention.
    I go back every 3 months for scans too.
    Thank you for sharing your story and being a ray of sunshine. God Bless you! 💕🙏🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, thank you for sharing your powerful story! Praise God for getting our attention and walking faithfully next to us through trials! You and I were going through treatment during the same time! Praying the cancer stays far away and you continue to experience the nearness of our Lord! God bless you! Thank you so much for reading and for your encouragement!

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