“I think tonight was the first time it hit me that I may not see the other end of cancer free. That it really is possible that I don’t’ make it through this.”
I wrote these words on the evening of September 13, 2017. Chills ran up my spine as I read this for the first time since writing it.
A blood clot was discovered earlier that day in my right jugular vein which created another threat to my life. As pain escalated and statistics did not favor my situation, I had to ask myself this question:
How am I going to move forward with life in this situation I am faced with?
It’s a question we all have to ask ourselves when trials enter our lives. It’s that “fork in the road” moment that we face when a struggle has been part of our lives for a moment, for weeks, months, or even years.
Do we throw in the towel and give up? Do we just “get by” and call that good? Do we make the most of it (however that may look)?
Right around the same time that the blood clot was discovered, I received a letter in the mail from one of the sweet girls that I had the privilege of being a youth leader for named Yesenia. She sent me a list of “Reasons to Keep Going” that she had written and thought it would be inspiring for me to have (And it truly was and still is – Thank you Lord for your amazing timing):
To keep fighting through the struggle, you’re going to need a reason or multiple reasons to do so. It’s hard to keep going especially in the mess, stress, and pain that you face. My hope is that you will create a list for yourself (and if you’d like to share it, we’d love to be inspired by it as well). Whether you have 5 things or 100 things, I want you to know that your life is worth fighting for. You have a purpose. With every breath you take, the Lord is calling you to live. And to live abundantly.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” –John 10:10 ESV
Because of what the Lord has done and his love for you and me, this is how my journal entry concluded on that difficult evening in September:
“I have right now. And I’m fighting for my life. I have a calling to fulfill right now while I have breath in my lungs. I am not going got give up hope and faith and love even in this. I have the power of Jesus living within me and I will not give up. Not until he calls me home to him.”
If you’re reading this right now, you have been given a gift: another day, an opportunity, another chance to love and be loved. Today, you have been given abundant life.
If you can’t think of any other reason to keep going, allow your heart to be flooded with the love of Christ. Because no matter what happens to the other items on your list, He is enough and He will give you the strength that you need to get you through.
How do you move forward in the hard times? Or how will you choose to move forward today?
Fighters, Survivors, and Supporters, I invite you to share 3 reasons that you will keep going today (oh yes, that includes some sparkle, my friends)!
Check out my list of reasons below!
Remember, you are amazing, you are loved, and your life has purpose.
Thank you, Yesenia, for being a part of my life. You enrich my life greatly.